Monday, June 28, 2010

Because

Amongst the brokeness and sorrow dwells the root of all, the catalyst, the antidote, the cure, the new life that leads to understanding and forgiveness. Because no one understands what happened, what continues to take place, how this feels, and what it's like living with it, day after day, month after month, year after year. Underneath the surface of what appears a perfect life, a flawless exterior, a perfect personality, lies what she hopes will never see the light of day. Never having dealt with something close to what has taken place, everyone watches, stares, observes, judges, yet none take the time to understand or talk, they simply stand by, then go on with their own lives. In the darkest corners of her soul hides emotion and confusion, nothingness and pain, hurt and loss, sorrow and attempted forgiveness. Because time heals no wounds, they are still as deep and as fresh as the day she discovered them, and no one understands. Because this world is cruel and heartless, it stole something they could never replace, something irrevocably important, something precious and adored. Because she would always blame herself, because nothing has ever helped, because underneath the seemingly flawless exterior dwells chaos, stabbing and stripping her insides as day after day it rips apart her heart, leaving nothing to use in defense. Bleeding, running, staring, secrets, hatred, confusion, love, understanding, forgiveness, judgement. Does anyone even care? Have they simply forgotten what happened? They say, don't tell anyone, they can't know, keep it to yourself, hide it away, never to be discovered or truly dealt with... Feels like her heart is breaking apart, while everyone watches and doesn't understand or care, soul exploding, crashing, falling in pieces everywhere, crashing violently to the bottom of her heart, laying upon a cold stone floor, rotting and expiring, choking, strangling, suffocating, murder wrought upon everything she holds close, never being able to tell or help, holding everything in, because no one knows, no one can understand... What will happen to this girl, so broken and left behind in the dust of the past, while everyone goes on, never glancing back, she lies dying upon the cold ground, breath labored, heart barely beating, waiting, but no one comes, because no one cares, no one understands....

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